5 {disturbing} things I learned about myself when I met Rachel Hollis!

Apr 10, 2019

Ok so let's be honest when I say "MET" Rachel Hollis, I actually mean SAW…LIVE…with 1000 other people from the nose bleed section…but I’m going with it!!

Last weekend I flew to California to a conference for online folks (apparently that’s me, an online person — who knew) I still think of myself as this 40 something that has no clue what she is doing!

Really I had no clue what to expect…I’m not affiliated with the company that hosted the event…but heck the line up of speakers was unreal, a bunch of my favs, Rachel Hollis being one of them — so when my online blogger cousin suggested we go together, I was all for it! 

If anything, I was getting away for a few days to warm weather, good wine, good food and some QT time with her! 

It sounded perfect….yes a good chunk of change to spend for something we could do at home…but I just trusted my gut and committed even though I didn’t know what I was getting myself into!

Let’s just say the investment was SO WORTH it, I came home a different person! LEGIT!

The speakers — outstanding…I learned a ton, and most importantly had lots of that good food, good wine, QT time with my cousin and LEARNED a whole hell of a lot about myself!

So the lessons!!
When I said I learned a TON —I’m not exaggerating…I really did, it was one of those trips that at every corner I was asking myself questions and actually answering them!

Ladies I know you get this…when you are in the midst of the busy in life, we just don’t have time…we don’t have time to sit and ask ourselves “OK whats happening right now inside here”…”what am I really feeling”, or “why am I feeling this way…what’s triggering me”??

Well I had a whole 4 days to really get down and dirty with myself….the speakers including good old Rachel really put some things into perspective for me…made me totally uncomfortable BUT in the end…I came home better for it!!

So here is what I learned!Even after all this time, all the positive books, and things I’ve listened too, the success I’ve had, I still tell myself, I am NOT _______________ enough!

I could fill that space up with so many different words — But SMART for me is the big one, I have always felt that I’m not SMART ENOUGH!!

I have NO education —- barely clawed my way through high school, didn’t go to University, and feel that I am “LESS THAN!” (case in point I have no clue if that should be an A OR AN E…seriously I just don’t retain shit like grammar —- it’s disturbing really)

I do feel that there is a STIGMA around this….people have said things to make me feel this way,  but the truth is, I was born STREET SMART…and I don’t NEED the University Degree to be successful at WHAT I WANT TO DO! <—- this is a KEY POINT, don’t miss this if you struggle with this!

This was the lightbulb for me…I asked myself, would you want any career that University would have allowed you to have — the answer is NEGATIVE on that!!

Any job that I have ever wanted, they don’t give University Degrees for…so I’m GOOD…I have my experiences, and GOOGLE and that’s all I’ve needed so far and all I’m going to need moving forward to be a success!

I like having a bathroom to myself!
Honestly this past weekend solidified what I truthfully already knew about myself! I really REALLY don’t love sharing a hotel room with anyone but my husband…and honestly I could definitely debate that on some level somedays too (kidding) (maybe)!!

My cousin and I determined VERY early into the planning of this trip, like in the first 3 seconds that we would be getting our own room, it was a HARD YES for both of us!

I really never second guessed it until a few people that I told before we left looked shocked (cue my husband, her husband and my Mom) so naturally I thought of shit was this a huge waste of money…should we change it…but we stuck to our guns and it was PERFECTION!!

Beyond just having the FREEDOM to use the facilities on my own when I wanted…there was the fact that I could actually use the facilities ALONE when I wanted..in PEACE…sit there…contemplate life without interruption. YES you heard me…and I know you get it!

Having your own space to THINK…to just THINK for a few days was absolute BLISS, I actually didn’t know how much I needed it!

I really REALLY want to dance…like WHOOOP IT UP! But I’m STILL too worried about what people think!

Did you know that EVERY SINGLE speaker came out on stage busting a move…like in a CRAZY DISTURBING FASHION….and the audience was on their feet boggie-ing right along with them…but NOT ME!

For whatever reason I continued to be shy reserved NO FUN Michelle…holding back. 

Why? Inside I was busting it out with Rachel, Chalene and Brendon hands in the air not giving a care…but in reality my feet stayed planted squarely on the ground not even moving an inch…clapping along quietly like a mouse!

That's stopping now…who cares?? Like WHO REALLY CARES? Do I really care if my cousin thinks I am weird or doing something out of the ordinary?? Do I really care if people think I am crazy…maybe they already do??

Is someone not going to like me because I dance? I jump, I look EXTREMELY AWKWARD doing it?? AHHHH probably not…because reality will tell us, people are way more concerned about themselves then YOU…BUT if they do…if they do judge, they are a JERK!! BIG OLE JERK! AND not worth my time!

It’s time to DO ME!
LIKE REALLLLLLY DO ME! Do some things that might just knock the socks off of people!

I can NOT be trusted in a hotel that has a 24 hour MARKET in the LOBBY!! 

Only downfall of having your own room when you are a closet eater, you do in fact go to the Market at midnight for wine and snacks!

It’s a problem and probably always will be. 

Or is it a problem? Maybe it’s just me…it’s sorta fun…sure I packed on a few pounds in Orange County California…but really who cares…they’ll be gone by next week…and honestly sitting in my room, hotel bathrobe on, with a bathroom tumbler full of red vino and a bag of $25 dollar popcorn contemplating life was pretty sweet!

I think I am just going to own that too…it’s one of my favourite things to do!

And finally -
I still have lots of things I want to do! 

I absolutely LOVE helping women. I have a LOT of experiences to share! But I’d started to doubt myself. Doubt my DREAMS moving forward!!

How ridiculous!
I had started to let my struggles control my thoughts, making me feel NOT WORTHY of my desire to help others!

NEWFLASH — everyone has struggles!
Ladies we all struggle, just because we’re struggling in some areas doesn’t mean we’re not TOTALLY awesome in other areas of our life.

We should be SHARING that, we should be SHARING our struggles…because we are always 1 step ahead of someone else…one teeny tiny step ahead and that could make a HUGE difference in someone’s life!! 

When my feet hit the floor every morning, I think about 3 things I am grateful for, and then I think about what woman I am going to be in contact with that I can help that day! 

It has nothing to do with selling them something, it has ALL to do with how can I use my experiences in life to help ONE PERSON today!!!

So HERE I go…I won’t let my fears stand in my way, I won’t let comparison rob me of any joy or motivation anymore!!

It’s time to ROCK this life just a little bit more than (or is that then) I already have!!

How about you…is it time you took a chance, stopped worrying about what others thought? Took some time to really think about WHAT YOU WANT??

Take it…ask yourself the questions…and take SOME ACTION!


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